setup: [E-Mail Ministry] Awesome Resume

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AWESOME RESUME

To Whom It May Concern:

I heard you were considering a new manager in your life. I would like to apply for the job. I believe I am the qualified candidate. I created the heavens and the earth. I AM. I am the only one that has ever done this job successfully. I was the first manager of human beings. In fact, I made them. So, naturally, I know how humanity works, and what is best to get people back into proper working condition. It will be like having the manufacturer as your personal mechanic. If this is your first time considering Me, I would like to point out that the blood of My Son, Jesus, on the cross of Calvary has already paid my salary. What I need from you is the acknowledgment that the price is sufficient to pay for all of your sins and your independence from Me. I need you to believe this in your heart and to tell somebody else about your decision with your mouth. The next thing I ask is the right to change and fix your life, so you can learn how to stay close to Me. I will make some major changes and revisions. They are not for you to worry about.

I need your permission to execute these changes:

* My way and in My time.

* I will change your desires and give you the strength to make the changes.

* Please keep YOUR hands out of the way. I won't require assistance.

Don't try to help me and don't resist me. I really do need your full commitment and cooperation. If you give me those, the process can go smoothly, without delays.

My resume is included below.

Sincerely Yours,

~God~

* RESUME *

NAME: GOD

ADDRESS: Everywhere (Omnipresent)

PHONE: 1(800) 4U2 - PRAY

EXPERIENCE:

* From the beginning of time. Before the beginning of time.

* From everlasting to everlasting. I made time.

ABILITY:

* All Powerful! (Omnipotent)

PRIOR EMPLOYMENT:

* Created the universe, put the Galaxies in place, formed man.

* Established Heaven and earth by My spoken Word and am currently holding the world and universe together by My sole power.

EDUCATION AND TRAINING:

* I AM - I AM all Knowledge

* I AM Truth

* I AM Light

* I AM Understanding

* I AM Life

* I AM Love

* I AM The Way - I Am the Good Shepherd - I and the Father 'AM' One, "Omniscient"

CHARACTER REFERENCE:

Love, light and life (1 John 4:16, 1 John 1:5, John 14:6).

A representative, but by no means conclusive, lists of other character traits are as follows:

* Wisdom - James 1:5

* Comfort - 2 Corinthians 1:3

* Truth - John 8:32

* Healer - 1 Peter 2:24

* Strength - Phil. 4:13

* Forgiveness - 1 John 1:9

* Provider - Phil. 4:19

* Mercy - Ephesians 2:24

* Good - Matt. 19:17

* Peace - Romans 14:17

AVAILABILITY:

* Willing and ready to take over your life at a moment notice.

* Able to provide you with salvation and everlasting life.

* Will bring all of who I AM into your life. Can start IMMEDIATELY.

* Available for 24 hrs a day companionship, counseling, guidance, comfort and consolation to strengthen you and stand with you against all attacks from the enemy. To renew your mind and spirit, and to transform you into a creature if you let Me. I will become your life and you will become My body.

SALARY REQUIREMENT:

* Payment for all work that has and will be accomplished in your life has already been paid for through the blood of My Son. Your only responsibility is to Believe and commit, to have Faith and trust and obey what Jesus has done and wants to do in your life. I look forward to meeting with you personally.

OTHER REFERENCES:

* The Holy Bible (Available Upon Request).

-- Author Unknown

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-- Doug Boebinger

-- The entire Staff of E-Mail Ministry