setup: [E-Mail Ministry] Church Football

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CHURCH FOOTBALL

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose
to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything
but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given
to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's
illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the
preacher goes "overtime".

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or
fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the
sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service or Bible study.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.

-- Author Unknown

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